I'm jealous of your bromance
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
