I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
