i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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