I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
