Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
wow bdsm is so cute
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
