last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
NoShamevember. You game?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
