wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
