You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
