Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
