Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
