After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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