Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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