thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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