This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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