if you like me you must not know who I am
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
