Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
