I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
