i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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