If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Randomize
