He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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