The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
