This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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