Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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