question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Well I just put wine in my tea
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
