I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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