just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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