Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
