That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
