dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
