Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
