just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
