are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
