Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
