god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
i think im in europe. pls send help
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
