call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize