Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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