i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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