I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
