after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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