I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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