I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
