Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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