I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
