dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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