Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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