WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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