At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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