Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
