How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
