dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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