stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
