i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
