He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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