Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
