Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
