She's JV to your varsity
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
