i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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