spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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