I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
