Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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