i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize