You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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