I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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