puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
