so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
