the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize